Channel Five do it again with a new multi-part reality show featuring David Blunkett as a Bizarro World prison based stand-in for Alan Sugar. Already dubbed 'Shame Academy' in the press, Blunkett 'oversees' (ho ho) proceedings - though sadly never gets to point roughly in the young thugs direction and say "You're fucked" before putting them away for life.
In fact there isn't that much threat at all here. Real prison looks shit and I'd hate to be there but ten days in TV jail is a piece of piss. They could have at least made it last a month or two.
Having said that one poor little hardnut from Sunderland did crack under the pressure last night. He had to leave and go home because it was all too much. Edited away from the start of the show it gave the impression they'd maybe been in there a while. Who knows how long?
Locked up in a twelve by five cell. You lose sense of time, the days go on for ever. Nothing to do. You can't breathe, those white walls close in on you. Some panic, lose their mind, others cry themselves to sleep. Some get mad. Mad at the world, mad at themselves - but the walls still close in. Whitewashed witnesses to wasted lives. Or, maybe not.
How long did this little tough guy last?
A week? Six days? Five? I mean that might be hard. Two? One?
No.
Three hours.
Three.
Hours.
I've had longer baths.
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