A long shit strapline, please.

- Hello there creatives! Samsung here, listen guys good news! Our new phone is the official phone of the Olympics.

- Great! How can we help?

- Well you remember that really cool Nike basketball advert from a few years ago, where they make the percussian with the balls?

- Yep that was cool.

- Well we want that. But with all different sports. Even ones that don't work.

- Right. Anything else?

- Yeah... can you make it look like all the sports are happening in different places and they are being somehow transmitted live with video via our phones to a kind of euro-trance DJ who is holding a massive rave by looping and remixing all the elements on the fly using ten more of our phones.

- Er... yeeeeeaaaah, does your phone have video calling?

- Nope.

- Does it have some kind of music loop remix function?

- Nope.

- OK, anything else?

- Yeah can you give it a really long shit strapline that makes no sense. We need to mention the fact that it's a samsung. And the fact it's called tocco. Also can we mention that it's a touchscreen. If you can we need to somehow get across the idea that you can use it to connect to things and people. Can we somehow also mention Olympic spirit? Oh, and definately get something in there about imagination cos that sounds creative. Something that sounds like creativity is coming to life...

- Fuck yeah why not? How about this? When your Samsung Tocco touchscreen mobile connects you to your Olympic spirit imagination lives.

- Brilliant! That is really long, awkward, unwieldy and makes no fucking sense at all it will match our shitty ad perfectly! Take the rest of the day off.

- I'm afraid I can't.

- Why not?

- I've been fired for giving in to clients stupid fucking requests and producing mind numbing shit. I'm about to be taken away and thrown into a giant mincemeat grinder for pointless people. I'll be turned into luxury dogfood. Please send any feedback to Jim, he'll be starting Monday.

- No, probs. Can you make the logo bigger.

- GAaaghh -BBBBBUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ - Arrrrrrghghh - SPLATTER SPLAT SPLAT.