Devil May Care (2008)

Just over thirty years ago, on a beach in Hawaii, George Lucas sat with Steven Spielberg. They built sandcastles while George worried if STAR WARS would be a success that opening weekend. The conversation turned to dream projects and Speilberg said "I'd love to do a Bond movie". Lucas replied "I've got something much better than Bond" and proceeded to lay out his idea for an archaeological adventure called Raiders of the Lost Ark.

So it seems fated that hot on the heels of Indy, BOND IS BACK! Or so say the shouty promo posters, albeit in tasteful silver typography. In a plot sounding more at home in an Indy movie, the Fleming Estate has drafted in Sebastian Faulks to perform some literary voodoo; re-animating and possessing the corpse of Ian Fleming in order to produce one last Bond book. Written in six weeks, the same amount of time Fleming alloted per book, Faulks first spent an extra six weeks reading the original Bond adventures in chronological order.

The result is a fast paced, easy read weighing in at around 300 pages. I'll have to admit that I'm coming at this whole thing arse about face - not having read any original Bond novels. Nevertheless this offers some advantages to judging the book on its own merits.

The novel begins, sans Bond, depicting a grisly murder in a rainy Parisian slum. Someone is extracting (in every sense of the word) a gruesomely literal revenge for 'talking too much'. Bond is not hot on the heels of the murderer nor is he coiled ready to pounce on the next page. He isn't even holed up with some preposterously named lovely. He is on a forced sabbatical.

He stood naked in front of the mirror and looked into his face, with a distaste he made no attempt to soften. 'You're tired' he said out loud. 'You're played out. Finished'

Melancholy and somewhat listless, Bond is idling in Rome when we first meet him. Banned from drinking and then turning down an easy night with a stunning girl, Bond isn't himself. Vulnerable, tired and in his own words 'Finished' he fears that soon the fastest thing he'll be driving is a desk back in London.

This navel gazing doesn't last long though. Soon Bond is in London and rather than retiring him, M wants him on the job. He briefs him on Dr. Julias Gorner. A chemist who not only has a massive legal business in pharmaceutical production but, almost certainly operates an even bigger business in heroin manufacture.

At last, he heard the voice - distorted, distant but unmistakeable - of the man he most respected in the world.

'Bond?'

'Sir'

'The party's over'

Things start rolling immediately and soon all the usual ingredients come tumbling across the pages. Car chases, shoot-outs, shoot-outs during car chases, flights abroad, shoot-outs during flights abroad, unsporting contests, henchmen, exotic cuisine, foreign locations, one liners and alluring women. All of which of course culminates in Bond attempting to stop the villains evil plan.

Once back to work Bond is drinking at least a bottle of whiskey a day and smoking in excess of 40 cigarettes before supper. In addition, and I'm not sure if this is classic Fleming or a baffling obsession of Faulkes, Bond appears to eat nothing but eggs. I lost count of the number of times he ordered omelettes in hotels. I'm not sure whether the Bond girls 'fell for him' or simply fainted due to his stench. Less "oh James" more "Ugh, Christ James! Was that you?, Urgh, I can taste it, oh it stinks - and Jesus did you brush your teeth with dogshit this morning?" Still, it doesn't seem to bother them.

Larissa raised an eyebrow and crossed her legs. It was a way of bringing them to his attention, Bond knew, and he couldn't blame her. They were long, with a supple shapeliness and elegance: not the result of exercise or dieting, Bond thought, but of breeding, youth and expensive hosiery.

In terms of evil schemes Gorner has not one, but two plans to take his revenge on the British. The two plans have no logical connection whatsoever - although I'm not sure this is much of an issue. It's big it's bad - Bond has to stop it.

What is more of an issue is Gorners motivations. Gorner, like many a Bond villain, has a deformity. And it's a beauty. Instead of a left hand, he has a monkey's paw. Not a detachable one like Mr. Han in Enter the Dragon, an actual monkey's paw - a big hairy non-opposable thumb having monkey's paw. To hide this he wears one white glove all the time like an evil, white version of Michael Jackson bent on exploiting the young and naive. Or like Michael Jackson, depending on your point of view.

Gorner was teased about this relentlessly in his youth at Oxford University and it seems that this is where his hatred of all things British stems from. Frankly it's a bit of a stretch, still Gorner is very entertaining throughout. There is also a evil henchman who has such an unusual 'tic' and Achilles heel that it is a shame to give it away. One of his torture scenes had me holding the book as far away as I could and grimacing in case he somehow leant off the page and did the same to me.

'Yes, indeed,' he said. 'London going up in nuclear smoke. The Houses of Parliment, jolly old Big Ben, the National Gallery, Lords's cricket ground...'

'This VC-10' said Bond, 'who's going to be the fool to fly it?'

'Why, that's very simple, Bond' said Gorner, taking a few paces toward him. 'You are.'

The period, gadget free setting is a refreshing change and helped the story along no end. To be honest I doubt I'd have even bought it had it been set in the present day. I haven't read Flemings Bond so I can't compare the two styles but the book read like an early Sean Connery Bond movie, at least that's how I imagined it. So make of that what you will.

Again, like Indy the other week, it spent a lot of time referencing previous adventures and trying to weave in old favourites such as Felix Leiter. So it's essentially it's another greatest hits album with a new song - this time in the shape of a location rather than a finale, Bond has never visited much of the Middle East in previous adventures. Here he spends the majority of time in Tehran which is brought vividly to life via a combination of earthy characters and dusty bustling locations. All sprinkled with luxury, indulgence and life threatening danger.

If you want more Bond then here it is.

But do people want more Bond?

Isn't is essentially the same thing we've seen countless times before?

Well, yes and no. At the time of writing Devil May Care is No.1 on the Amazon best-sellers list and placing a world weary Bond back in the sixties brings a freshness that no amount of invisible cars and cgi can accomplish. I blasted through the book in three sittings on the way to work. I actually found myself disappointed whenever I had to close the thing to get off the train.

It reads like a long lost Bond film. Tons of fun, plenty of thrills and all the usual Bond ingredients minus the cheese. Why Faulkes replaces the cheese with eggs remains a mystery.